i am born of the light. i rose from its foams, and i shall return to its depths.
WARNING:
death shall come on swift wings to anyone who dare disregard the sanctity of my territory.
Little Light got her pseudonym from her real name, the irish form of helen [greek] and evelyn [germanic] which means light.
she likes to think of herself as a stout little phoenix. she is an artist at heart but also writes because she believes that is how she can help shape history.
she claims to have the gift of seeing and prides herself in her ideas. if she were a book character, she would be scout finch.
when once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your
eyes turned upward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return. - leonardo da vinci (1452-1519)
we are not born all at once, but by bits; the body first, and the spirit later. our mothers are racked with the pains of our physical birth; we ourselves suffer the longer pains of our spiritual growth. - mary antin
i have often dreamed, of a far off place
where a hero's welcome, would be waiting for me
where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face
and a voice keeps saying, this is where i'm meant to be
i'll be there someday, i can go the distance
i will find my way, if i can be strong
i know ev�ry mile, will be worth my while
when i go the distance, i'll be right where i belong
down an unknown road, to embrace my fate
though that road may wander it will lead me to you
and a thousand years, would be worth the wait
it might take a lifetime but somehow i'll see it through
i won't look back, i can go the distance
and i'll stay on track, no, i won't accept defeat
it's an uphill slope, but i won't lose hope
till i go the distance, and my journey is complete
but to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
for a hero's strength is measured by his heart
like a shooting star, i will go the distance
i will search the world, i will face its harms
i don't care how far, i can go the distance
till i find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms
i will search the world, i will face its harms
till i find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms
credits:
header image by nullsoft.com
images hosted by photobucket.com
music hosted by thefilebin.com
scripts by dynamicdrive.com
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
metamorphosis
people change. it is a part of growth. to hold on to an image of yourself five years ago because it is what you think is the perfect version of you, to promise today that you would remain completely the same person five years now--hanging out in the same places, doing the same things, thinking the same thoughts--is a betrayal of yourself and what you could possible be.
when i was younger, i used to say that i would always stay the way i was and believe in the same things until my hair turns gray. looking back, i can say now that my perspective was limited. the day i accepted this and allowed nature to take its course, i was freed.
thus, i cannot and will not promise to always believe in something, or to never do something. i was not even the same person i was a year ago. what i say now, i might even contradict later, and that is okay. i am not beholden to anyone but myself. i trust that at the end of the long winding road, everything will make sense, and a clear picture will emerge. steve jobs once said that you cannot connect the dots looking forward. you can only connect them looking backwards.
there was a time when i didn't care what i put online. i said anything i wanted to say. i ranted, told everyone my dreams, and poured my heart out. i even wrote my love letters on my blogs for all the world to see. i was an open book.
then came a time when i realized that there had to be a limit; that some things were meant to be kept to yourself. so whenever i wanted to say something but knew i couldn't say it, i retreated to my inner world. i felt suffocated, i hated the feeling of being gagged, but i also knew that it was the right thing to do.
things are a lot different now. other than the fact that i am not emo anymore, i know better now. i hate it though when my old blogs appear in google searches. it's like being stripped naked in public!
and yet, reading my old blogs remind me of how much i have changed over the years. i find my old entries amusing. they can be a good source of laughter sometimes. :-) so, i decided to keep my old blogs no matter how embarrassing they are. i just pray that no one ever bothers to use google on me.
this peasant-turned-king in this article sounds crazy, but the story rings a familiar bell. sometimes we do fall into the trap of i'll-be-happy-only-after.
so i'm doing this exercise, as suggested by the article.
1. there are malls everywhere! you never run out of choices for food and clothes. 2. i live near the best law school in the country. :-) 3. i get paid so much more at work. :-)
sometimes, the universe can be like a mother. when she asks you to do something and you pretend not to hear it, she spanks you real hard on the butt. it hurts, but she knows best.
tell me, how hard is it to say that you were wrong? how hard is it to accept that, even though you are up there, you do not know? who expects you to know everything anyway?
i find it fairly easy to say that i do not know, although i always add that i will soon find out what i do not know. maybe it's just because i am just here, and they are up there. there must be a lot of pressure up there. but i've met great people who've had fame and fortune and yet i could well remember them admitting their mistakes.
this is a poor place. i've yet to meet someone here that i could look up to.
in his facebook fan page today, paulo coelho talks about the abyss. i am one of those who wrongfully think of it as a dark, unknown place that i would rather not be in.
the abyss, according to coelho, comes from the greek word abismos, which means something that has no end. and thus he adds:
"in the same way that the abyss can be seen as a bottomless pit, it can also be reversed. the up-ward abyss of the skies can also point towards the great mystery of the divine. master eckhart speaks of the "ungrund", the abyss inside each of our hearts where dwells the divine.
now you take the floor, what do you associate with the abyss?"
me? i think of the abyss of dreams. there is no end to how far we can dream.
you don't need to bring all the clothes you've accumulated for four years if you are moving to a new city. you don't even need to bring a lot of clothes to a four-day trip to anywhere. you choose the pieces you bring, and you only choose the ones that matter to you.
the clothes that touch your skin, not all of them need to be a part of you. some only touch your skin for awhile. some are meant to be discarded. only a few are worthy to be kept for years, or maybe for life. only a few are worthy to be packed and brought to new places and new phases of your life.
while out to dinner with friends earlier tonight, we saw this miniature pool at the park. the pool was brimming with fishes. some were white, some were orange. they had big eyes, like nemo. i couldn't get enough just watching them so i bent over to play with them a little.
a friend warned me to stop playing with the fishes because they might bite my finger. i thought, why should i be afraid of fishes? they looked so cute, they can't bite.
we were given dominion over the fishes of the sea and the fowls of the air. why should we be afraid of them? we are the stewards of the earth. are we making wise use of its gifts to us? and why kill each other for food? life shoots from the earth even in the harshest conditions. why kill each other for land? that land isn't ours in the first place.
maybe animals bite us because we are unkind to them. maybe life is hard because we think it is. maybe there is not enough for everyone because we think the earth would run out of life for us, and then we horde.
sometimes i need a reminder, and i thank kristy lee cook for giving me one.
i know a lot of people were glad that she got eliminated, but i'm sure more than half of them can't sing any better than she can.
it's true she can't sing like the two davids, but let's give her credit for this one. this is one of her performances that i like, perhaps because the song struck a chord.
you can spend your whole life building
something from nothin'
one storm can come and blow it all away
build it anyway
you can chase a dream
that seems so out of reach
and you know it might not ever come your way
dream it anyway
god is great
but sometimes life ain't good
and when I pray
it doesn't always turn out like I think it should
but i do it anyway i do it anyway
this world's gone crazy
it's hard to believe
that tomorrow will be better than today
believe it anyway you can love someone with all your heart for all the right reasons in a moment they can choose to walk away love 'em anyway
god is great but sometimes life ain't good and when i pray it doesn't always turn out like i think it should but i do it anyway yeah - i do it anyway
you can pour your soul out singing a song you believe in that tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang sing it anyway yeah, sing it anyway yeah, yeah!
